Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Position Spotlight : The Hero

Need to spice up your sex life? Having trouble hitting her g-spot? Want to give her the best orgasm of her life? The Hero is here.

This position has many names. You may hear it called The Crab, Full Press, Lifted and Pure position. I usually explain it as The Deck Chair with small changes. There may be slight variations between these but they all stem from the same basic concepts.

The female is on her back, relaxed and comfortable. Her knees are bent. She can control the angle ranging from knees touching chest to feet on partner's shoulders. There is no wrong way. Controlling the angle, controls the depth. The closer the knees are to the chest, the deeper the penetration. Adjust accordingly.

The male is on his knees. He uses the female's butt, thighs or feet to raise her off the bed for a better g-spot angle. My personal favorite is when the male holds my hips as he lifts.

These are the basics but I suggest adding something extra. Have her play with her clit as you penetrate. Just like I suggest in my other posts, have her spread her lower lips and make sure the clit has lubricant. Lube can be useful because a drop goes a long way where spit or cum needs to be reapplied and gives a greater chance of her getting out of rhythm and having to begin again. This can quickly cause frustration. My mind blowing orgasms come from the g-spot penetration with clitoral orgasm.

If you and she are into DP, you can easily add a toy or finger with this position without any adjustment. Raise her ass high enough and you can add spanking too.

Whenever you combine g-spot and clitoral stimulation, you increase the likelihood of climax. Be the hero with The Hero.

Photo credit: http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/relationships/album856252/sex-positions-kamasutra-sex-positions-21211687.html

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Bringing the Blog Back

I haven't updated since March?? I can believe it. 

Now that I've remembered my password (with a little help), you'll be seeing more from me on here. 

Feel free to leave your experiences or questions on my formspring to have them featured in one of my blogs.

Next topic: Marriage

Monday, March 19, 2012

My Experience with: Virginity

Since we lose our virginity once, the only way I can approach the subject is with my personal experience.

Once I started thinking about sex, I heard all the horror stories. The main points being:
1. It's painful and unpleasant
2. You bleed
3. You just want to get it over with

With glowing reviews like that, who wouldn't want to jump in the sack? *insert sarcasm*

I had been masturbating on and off since I was about 13. Very light clitoral stimulation, never to completion. I would occasionally insert a finger or two but nothing especially mind blowing. Guys, skip this next tidbit and move onto the next part. Girls, I had tried using tampons but found them extremely painful. I was so scared this was a precursor to even more pain my first time. If you're able to use tampons, you're already ahead. 

My opportunity for sex did not arise until I was 16. I started dating my family's friend's son. Sounds more complicated than it was. He was three years older. I guess that's where my affinity for older men began. We started dating in April and over the course of the next few months, rounded all the bases. It was new to both of us. You do not want to run to home plate if you haven't explored all other sexual avenues with each other beforehand. Know how your partner feels and tastes. The more comfortable you are with each other's anatomy, the more comfortable you'll be when it comes time to make the next step. Fingering is especially good warm up for the occasion. You'll slowly stretch the vagina and make tearing less of an issue.

Get your condom ready. Buy new. If you're afraid to be seen buying them, order online through various companies that ship discreetly. Seriously, your parents will not know just by looking at the box. My first toy purchase was so discreet, no one believed me when I told them what was inside. It is better to know and trust a new condom. You should not have the added concern of expiration and temperature control leading to breakage by getting one from a friend. While you're at it, purchase some lubricant. I will leave suggestions at the bottom of the blog.

Find a private place with no chance of disruption. You don't want your experience ruined by a pesky knock on the door etc. The position I used, and recommend, is having the girl on her back, legs slightly bent. My experience involved my boyfriend lubricating the condom and inserting himself using the missionary position. It sounds dull but for your first time, you want to be relaxed and have your body in a position that is comfortable. 

I had zero pain and zero bleeding. He went slow but in all at once. I was completely at ease (and in love) and honestly couldn't believe that I wasn't experiencing what everyone warned me about. I can't promise that you will have the exact same experience as I had. Hymens and vaginas are not created equal. With  masturbation, fingering and the missionary position, it will only better your chances at a less painful, if not painless penetration.

You'll have plenty of time in the future to experiment and get to the more exciting positions but for your first time, I recommend taking it slow and enjoying the moment while using a traditional position that is comfortable for both. This is just my experience and my suggestions based on how well it went for me.

For condoms, I recommend durex. I've never had an issue with them but I have with Trojans. I've used the regular lubricated, ribbed, warming, large and flavored. I'm a fan of the variety pack.
You can get them discreetly online from the website I use, edenfantasys.com or drugstore.com. 
The drugstore box will say drugstore.com on the box. Drugstore.com Durex Link
 Edenfantasys uses a fake name. Go through this link for a discount. You can use that link to search "Sliquid" for my favorite lube. I recommend "Sliquid H2O"

Relax. Get comfortable. Be SAFE! 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Art of Long Distance

Relationships are challenging (insert "no shit" moment). Distance is something some couples never have to deal with. They live and work close or even together so moments together are plentiful. For others, close proximity isn't an option. Whether a partner travels a lot for work or you simply live on different coasts, there are tricks to keeping the love (and the lust) alive during those times you aren't in each others arms.

I have a lot of experience in long distance relationships, both good and bad. In my teens, dealing with the distance was a mess. This was a military scenario 7 years ago, so we didn't have a lot of the technologies you can use today. Email and pay phones. I was roughing it compared to now a days. I was insecure, needy and attempted to be controlling; all things NOT to do, distance or no distance involved. It created severe tension and resentment. When we could talk on the phone, it was short and unsatisfying. I would end up feeling last on his list of priorities. 

I blog before you, a new woman. I am free of insecurities and negativity. Being secure and positive are key to making your long distance or time apart easier. Your mind has to be in the right place first. 

Before your partner leaves, make sure you leave them satisfied. Put on your best outfit (most of the time, this means nothing at all) and do what you do best. There is no universal way of sending your partner off (or getting your partner off) so use your experience to pick things that will stick with your partner for awhile. Avoid nit picking and arguments. You don't want your partner leaving as it is, let alone leaving with less than pleasant thoughts of you and your relationship. 

While apart, USE TECHNOLOGY. It isn't rocket science. You'll have the typical calls and texts during the day as you would together but use this time to step up your game. For me, I can go the whole day with just texting and have a nice long conversation at night. With the iphone, I not only get to talk to him, but I can use facetime to see him. This makes my day, everyday. I could be having a horrible day, or even a so so day and I light up when I hear his voice. This is different for all people. You may need a few short phone calls just to check in. Whatever works communication wise for you and your partner, make it happen. 

I use photos a lot with distance. No just those photos, perverts. I like seeing what my guy is wearing everyday, love seeing the smile on his face. I take pics of what I'm doing, where I am...just to make him feel a part of my daily life. This doesn't work for everyone. I use it for fun but if it is used as a method of control, things won't progress in a positive direction. There are times for the other types of pictures. Sending a seductive photo unannounced can keep interest and lust alive. Your version of seductive is probably very different from mine. Less is more for me. If your partner gets excited from graphic material and you want to show it, go for it. I like to build a bit on his anticipation. I start with a morning pic of me in bed, just my pjs, nothing too scandalous. I want him to see what he'd wake up to if he were with me. If I know we are going to get on cam, I'll put on something a little sexy and send him a pic to look forward to. It's the little things that go a long way.

If you don't want to read about phone/cam sex, move onto the next paragraph. Depending on your sexual appetite and time apart, you may want to include getting off together in your long distance planning. This may come more naturally to some as it will to others. It may be awkward to start, lots of giggles involved, but if you really focus on your attraction to your partner, it should be easier for you. Think of the last time you were physically together. Start talking back and forth about what you did to your partner. Have your partner say what they did to you. Close your eyes and imagine it. Really let go. There is no wrong way to do this. You just have to figure out how your sex life translates to more of a conversation and mutual masturbation. This isn't something I can really spell out for you since everyone is different. Some people need to hear "pussy" and "cock" and "fuck me" to get going and get off. Others prefer a less crude approach. You'll know best. 

Do whatever you have to do to keep interest and happiness high. Of course you'll miss your partner but when you're able to talk or cam, you don't want to use those times to complain. Usually, there isn't much you can do about your distance scenario but you have total control of how you act when you see and speak to your partner. Be happy. Be horny. Be anything you normally are together but BE POSITIVE.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Size: Does it Matter?

Does size matter? The simple answer is yes but not for the reason you think. Here's why:

We are all different in our turn ons, genital size, pleasure responses, wants and needs. Not every woman is looking for a 12 inch cock just as not every woman will be satisfied by the average 5 to 6 inches. Unaroused, the average vagina is only 3 inches deep. It is due to arousal and pressure that it will expand both in length and width. 

Some women do not get a lot of pleasure from vaginal penetration alone. A less responsive gspot can be very discouraging. These women will often put more emphasis on pleasure from oral or the use of fingers. For others, oral and the use of fingers make a more intense climax along with penetration.

The key is finding the right fit. Personally, I am built very small and can't fit much more than the average cock size. I don't like going under 6 inches however. This is my preferences and what I know sucessfully stimulates me. The best test for me came through my toy reviews. I would get certain toys and they would be too thick and cause pain. Length would also be an issue. I was able to pinpoint my ideal length and width through this trial and error. As a woman, if you want to find your preference without being the goldilocks whore of cocks, I suggest going the toy route. It has worked wonders for me and I now have an eye for my perfect fit.

For the guys, no matter what your size, make sure you have all the proper techniques in your sex arsenal. Read my blog on eating out. Know how to finger the gspot. Have positions that highlight what you have in the dick department. I have found the following position to be mindblowing for all sizes;

You girl should be on her back. Prop her butt up with a pillow. Kneel between her spread legs and penetrate. With her ass slightly in the air, the angle should be perfect for hitting her gspot. Bend her legs or keep them straight but use them to lift her slightly off the pillow to get an even better angle. Her legs or hips should be your anchor point for thrusting. While you're inside, you can either play with her clit, use a toy or have her play with it. I find it easier to be in control of the clit while he focuses on hitting that spot. The combination of gspot and clitoral stimulation has worked wonders for me and those I have coached.

Size matters in varying degrees with each individual. There are woman with the preference and pleasure response that will match your size. Don't be discouraged. If you're 3 inches or 13, don't rely on your size alone. Be the best lover you can by learning and mastering all the techniques in the bedroom. If a girl wanted to do all the work with 10 hard inches, she'd get a dildo. We engage someone physically for the whole package. No one wants a slacker whether you aren't compensating for what you see as a "shortcoming" or if you think your gift to women is your size. Do the work. Your girl will not only appreciate the effort, but the overall experience will make her come back for more.