Position Spotlight : The Hero

Need to spice up your sex life? Having trouble hitting her g-spot? Want to give her the best orgasm of her life? The Hero is here.

This position has many names. You may hear it called The Crab, Full Press, Lifted and Pure position. I usually explain it as The Deck Chair with small changes. There may be slight variations between these but they all stem from the same basic concepts.

The female is on her back, relaxed and comfortable. Her knees are bent. She can control the angle ranging from knees touching chest to feet on partner's shoulders. There is no wrong way. Controlling the angle, controls the depth. The closer the knees are to the chest, the deeper the penetration. Adjust accordingly.

The male is on his knees. He uses the female's butt, thighs or feet to raise her off the bed for a better g-spot angle. My personal favorite is when the male holds my hips as he lifts.

These are the basics but I suggest adding something extra. Have her play with her clit as you penetrate. Just like I suggest in my other posts, have her spread her lower lips and make sure the clit has lubricant. Lube can be useful because a drop goes a long way where spit or cum needs to be reapplied and gives a greater chance of her getting out of rhythm and having to begin again. This can quickly cause frustration. My mind blowing orgasms come from the g-spot penetration with clitoral orgasm.

If you and she are into DP, you can easily add a toy or finger with this position without any adjustment. Raise her ass high enough and you can add spanking too.

Whenever you combine g-spot and clitoral stimulation, you increase the likelihood of climax. Be the hero with The Hero.

Photo credit: http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/relationships/album856252/sex-positions-kamasutra-sex-positions-21211687.html

Give the gift of kink

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Bringing the Blog Back

I haven't updated since March?? I can believe it. 

Now that I've remembered my password (with a little help), you'll be seeing more from me on here. 

Feel free to leave your experiences or questions on my formspring to have them featured in one of my blogs.

Next topic: Marriage

My Experience with: Virginity

Since we lose our virginity once, the only way I can approach the subject is with my personal experience.


Once I started thinking about sex, I heard all the horror stories. The main points being:
1. It's painful and unpleasant
2. You bleed
3. You just want to get it over with


With glowing reviews like that, who wouldn't want to jump in the sack? *insert sarcasm*


I had been masturbating on and off since I was about 13. Very light clitoral stimulation, never to completion. I would occasionally insert a finger or two but nothing especially mind blowing. Guys, skip this next tidbit and move onto the next part. Girls, I had tried using tampons but found them extremely painful. I was so scared this was a precursor to even more pain my first time. If you're able to use tampons, you're already ahead. 


My opportunity for sex did not arise until I was 16. I started dating my family's friend's son. Sounds more complicated than it was. He was three years older. I guess that's where my affinity for older men began. We started dating in April and over the course of the next few months, rounded all the bases. It was new to both of us. You do not want to run to home plate if you haven't explored all other sexual avenues with each other beforehand. Know how your partner feels and tastes. The more comfortable you are with each other's anatomy, the more comfortable you'll be when it comes time to make the next step. Fingering is especially good warm up for the occasion. You'll slowly stretch the vagina and make tearing less of an issue.


Get your condom ready. Buy new. If you're afraid to be seen buying them, order online through various companies that ship discreetly. Seriously, your parents will not know just by looking at the box. My first toy purchase was so discreet, no one believed me when I told them what was inside. It is better to know and trust a new condom. You should not have the added concern of expiration and temperature control leading to breakage by getting one from a friend. While you're at it, purchase some lubricant. I will leave suggestions at the bottom of the blog.


Find a private place with no chance of disruption. You don't want your experience ruined by a pesky knock on the door etc. The position I used, and recommend, is having the girl on her back, legs slightly bent. My experience involved my boyfriend lubricating the condom and inserting himself using the missionary position. It sounds dull but for your first time, you want to be relaxed and have your body in a position that is comfortable. 


I had zero pain and zero bleeding. He went slow but in all at once. I was completely at ease (and in love) and honestly couldn't believe that I wasn't experiencing what everyone warned me about. I can't promise that you will have the exact same experience as I had. Hymens and vaginas are not created equal. With  masturbation, fingering and the missionary position, it will only better your chances at a less painful, if not painless penetration.


You'll have plenty of time in the future to experiment and get to the more exciting positions but for your first time, I recommend taking it slow and enjoying the moment while using a traditional position that is comfortable for both. This is just my experience and my suggestions based on how well it went for me.


For condoms, I recommend durex. I've never had an issue with them but I have with Trojans. I've used the regular lubricated, ribbed, warming, large and flavored. I'm a fan of the variety pack.
You can get them discreetly online from the website I use, edenfantasys.com or drugstore.com. 
The drugstore box will say drugstore.com on the box. Drugstore.com Durex Link
 Edenfantasys uses a fake name. Go through this link for a discount. You can use that link to search "Sliquid" for my favorite lube. I recommend "Sliquid H2O"




Relax. Get comfortable. Be SAFE! 

The Art of Long Distance

Relationships are challenging (insert "no shit" moment). Distance is something some couples never have to deal with. They live and work close or even together so moments together are plentiful. For others, close proximity isn't an option. Whether a partner travels a lot for work or you simply live on different coasts, there are tricks to keeping the love (and the lust) alive during those times you aren't in each others arms.


I have a lot of experience in long distance relationships, both good and bad. In my teens, dealing with the distance was a mess. This was a military scenario 7 years ago, so we didn't have a lot of the technologies you can use today. Email and pay phones. I was roughing it compared to now a days. I was insecure, needy and attempted to be controlling; all things NOT to do, distance or no distance involved. It created severe tension and resentment. When we could talk on the phone, it was short and unsatisfying. I would end up feeling last on his list of priorities. 


I blog before you, a new woman. I am free of insecurities and negativity. Being secure and positive are key to making your long distance or time apart easier. Your mind has to be in the right place first. 


Before your partner leaves, make sure you leave them satisfied. Put on your best outfit (most of the time, this means nothing at all) and do what you do best. There is no universal way of sending your partner off (or getting your partner off) so use your experience to pick things that will stick with your partner for awhile. Avoid nit picking and arguments. You don't want your partner leaving as it is, let alone leaving with less than pleasant thoughts of you and your relationship. 


While apart, USE TECHNOLOGY. It isn't rocket science. You'll have the typical calls and texts during the day as you would together but use this time to step up your game. For me, I can go the whole day with just texting and have a nice long conversation at night. With the iphone, I not only get to talk to him, but I can use facetime to see him. This makes my day, everyday. I could be having a horrible day, or even a so so day and I light up when I hear his voice. This is different for all people. You may need a few short phone calls just to check in. Whatever works communication wise for you and your partner, make it happen. 


I use photos a lot with distance. No just those photos, perverts. I like seeing what my guy is wearing everyday, love seeing the smile on his face. I take pics of what I'm doing, where I am...just to make him feel a part of my daily life. This doesn't work for everyone. I use it for fun but if it is used as a method of control, things won't progress in a positive direction. There are times for the other types of pictures. Sending a seductive photo unannounced can keep interest and lust alive. Your version of seductive is probably very different from mine. Less is more for me. If your partner gets excited from graphic material and you want to show it, go for it. I like to build a bit on his anticipation. I start with a morning pic of me in bed, just my pjs, nothing too scandalous. I want him to see what he'd wake up to if he were with me. If I know we are going to get on cam, I'll put on something a little sexy and send him a pic to look forward to. It's the little things that go a long way.


If you don't want to read about phone/cam sex, move onto the next paragraph. Depending on your sexual appetite and time apart, you may want to include getting off together in your long distance planning. This may come more naturally to some as it will to others. It may be awkward to start, lots of giggles involved, but if you really focus on your attraction to your partner, it should be easier for you. Think of the last time you were physically together. Start talking back and forth about what you did to your partner. Have your partner say what they did to you. Close your eyes and imagine it. Really let go. There is no wrong way to do this. You just have to figure out how your sex life translates to more of a conversation and mutual masturbation. This isn't something I can really spell out for you since everyone is different. Some people need to hear "pussy" and "cock" and "fuck me" to get going and get off. Others prefer a less crude approach. You'll know best. 


Do whatever you have to do to keep interest and happiness high. Of course you'll miss your partner but when you're able to talk or cam, you don't want to use those times to complain. Usually, there isn't much you can do about your distance scenario but you have total control of how you act when you see and speak to your partner. Be happy. Be horny. Be anything you normally are together but BE POSITIVE.

Size: Does it Matter?

Does size matter? The simple answer is yes but not for the reason you think. Here's why:

We are all different in our turn ons, genital size, pleasure responses, wants and needs. Not every woman is looking for a 12 inch cock just as not every woman will be satisfied by the average 5 to 6 inches. Unaroused, the average vagina is only 3 inches deep. It is due to arousal and pressure that it will expand both in length and width. 

Some women do not get a lot of pleasure from vaginal penetration alone. A less responsive gspot can be very discouraging. These women will often put more emphasis on pleasure from oral or the use of fingers. For others, oral and the use of fingers make a more intense climax along with penetration.

The key is finding the right fit. Personally, I am built very small and can't fit much more than the average cock size. I don't like going under 6 inches however. This is my preferences and what I know sucessfully stimulates me. The best test for me came through my toy reviews. I would get certain toys and they would be too thick and cause pain. Length would also be an issue. I was able to pinpoint my ideal length and width through this trial and error. As a woman, if you want to find your preference without being the goldilocks whore of cocks, I suggest going the toy route. It has worked wonders for me and I now have an eye for my perfect fit.

For the guys, no matter what your size, make sure you have all the proper techniques in your sex arsenal. Read my blog on eating out. Know how to finger the gspot. Have positions that highlight what you have in the dick department. I have found the following position to be mindblowing for all sizes;

You girl should be on her back. Prop her butt up with a pillow. Kneel between her spread legs and penetrate. With her ass slightly in the air, the angle should be perfect for hitting her gspot. Bend her legs or keep them straight but use them to lift her slightly off the pillow to get an even better angle. Her legs or hips should be your anchor point for thrusting. While you're inside, you can either play with her clit, use a toy or have her play with it. I find it easier to be in control of the clit while he focuses on hitting that spot. The combination of gspot and clitoral stimulation has worked wonders for me and those I have coached.

Size matters in varying degrees with each individual. There are woman with the preference and pleasure response that will match your size. Don't be discouraged. If you're 3 inches or 13, don't rely on your size alone. Be the best lover you can by learning and mastering all the techniques in the bedroom. If a girl wanted to do all the work with 10 hard inches, she'd get a dildo. We engage someone physically for the whole package. No one wants a slacker whether you aren't compensating for what you see as a "shortcoming" or if you think your gift to women is your size. Do the work. Your girl will not only appreciate the effort, but the overall experience will make her come back for more.

Toy Focus: G-Gasm

My go-to toy has become this g-gasm delight. I am a simple woman and this toy is sleek without bells and whistles. Bottom line; anyone can make this work in the bedroom.


It started out innocent enough...I put the head on my clit and pulled it back and forth. I wasn't into the g-spot at the time. Slowly increasing the vroom power, I was able to cum just from my clit. After a particular orgasm I was extremely wet and slid the toy inside me. I led it until it hooked on my gspot. There is sat as I turned the vibrator on. It found my sweet spot and made me crave cock; as a good toy should. I added to the stimulation by touching my clit....mind-blowing would be a good start in explaining the incredible combination. It is because of this toy, I crave a toy, fingers or cock inside me whenever I cum.


As you can see, this toy is great solo. My issue with most toys is men look at them like some foreign objects not intended for their exploration. This one is very easy and therefore, partner friendly. The twist bottoms and increases vibration intensity. If he looks at you funny with this one, you might want to put your pants back on and RUN! 


If you're looking for a bit higher end in a toy purchase, I suggest this. The major difference is the material. G-Gasm is made of hard, slick plastic whereas the zenith has a velvety feel to it. Both could use less noise on their resume but nothing is perfect.


And I haven't forgotten about my guys. This can also be used for p-spot play. I'm an equal opportunist in toy reviews too.

The Art of Eating Out

And no, I'm not talking about at a restaurant. Let's talk about oral.


I know it can seem like a daunting task if you don't know what you're doing or aren't getting the pleasurable results you are hoping for. I'm going to share what I enjoy and a few tips on what you can try with your girl. 


For me, foreplay is key. It gets my clit swollen and begging to be touched. If you start out just diving into it, you have to work harder since the clit doesn't have the blood flow it would have from foreplay stimulation. You don't want to waste time getting the clit big without it. It can lead to annoyance on both you and your partner since it is time consuming. Kiss, lick, tease the body and the clit will be begging for attention soon. Let your hands run all over her body, hovering over her crotch as you kiss and lick your way down her chest and stomach. You may want to do the same from the inner thigh up to the clit. This is the perfect way to tell her that you want her.


Now that the clit is plump, you're going to want to spread the lips. I do this even when I masturbate. It gets the skin out of the way and puts the clit front and center. I like an initial kiss, lips wrapped around the clit, sucking gently. It is such a tease but I love it. If she really enjoys that, do it a few more times. I like a full flat tongue against my clit, licking bottom to top before the tip of the tongue licks up and down. If you feel like teasing her a bit more, run your tongue in circles around the clit. If your tongue gets tired from the up and down, try side to side. Be aware of what makes her squirm. It is good to try a few things and take note of what she really seems to be enjoying and go back to that. If you were to lick my clit up and down, side to side, then in circles, you'd notice my extreme reaction to the up and down. 


I don't expect any man to use his tongue from start to finish when it comes to oral sex so knowledge of how to finger is also a crucial part. I think it enhances the experience. When using fingers on the clit, I always love it nice and wet. My guy either uses saliva or my cum. If your tongue gets tired but you know that what you were doing was working, just replace your tongue with your fingers. My guy switches between his tongue up and down to three fingers rubbing up and down. A seamless transition is crucial! A few seconds between your tongue and fingers can mean starting all over again. You don't want to put all that work in with your tongue and have your partner so close to climax just to have to go back to square one. So have your fingers ready to take over. I would use this time to make eye contact and show and tell how much you love her taste and squirms. When your tongue is ready for more, make the seamless transition again and slide your fingers into her pussy. Hook the fingers to find her g-spot. You can also use a toy if you want. I can't explain how amazing the dual stimulation feels with my mans tongue against my clit and his fingers or g-spot toy deep inside me. 


With all that stimulation, I can usually cum, start to finish, in 5-10 minutes. I cum harder when there is something in my cunt, fingers or toy. Having something inside to clench while I orgasm is an incredible feeling. This has been my experience, from trial and error and is just a starting point for you to try yourself. Women are different. Different things turn us on and different techniques get us to climax. For a few times, your experience may be trying different things just to see what she reacts to. Don't be afraid to ask what she enjoyed in a playful way. It won't be long until you're a pro at pleasing your woman orally. I can tell you from personal experience, the more I get, the more I want to give ;) So don't be deterred by your lack of experience or lack of success in the past. Put in the time to find what she likes and you'll have her screaming for more in no time. 


All this talk about oral has turned me on. I hope my favorite tongue gets home soon!

What's Your Favorite ____: Sex Toy Edition

This one is interactive people. Self explanatory...what is your favorite sex toy? 


I'm always looking for new toys to review so either leave a comment here or @ me on twitter.

My Experience With: Anal

Before I first had sex, for as long as I can remember, by opinion on anal was simple. EXIT ONLY. Then I had sex.

Once I did the hand job, the blow job, and streamline intercourse...I was ready to experience more. At first, I was more than content to try the whole gamete of different positions. And then anal came to mind.

At this point, I was thinking why not? I'm ready, I'm open, let's do this. Right off the bat I knew that huge cock was not just going to slide into my tight asshole. I knew it was something I had to do gradually. I had my guy get to close to 3/4 mast. Hard enough to penetrate but soft enough not to tare. Lots of lube was involved. I laid on my back and pulled my knees to my chest. He slowly circled my ass with his head, pushing in a bit. This works wonders to gently relax the opening. The head is the hard part usually, depending on the cock shape. Once the head was in, he inched inside me. It felt like little sparks going off inside me, especially once he was fully hard. If you're trying this for the first time, you'll notice your body feels something inside it at this point and the muscles contract to try and push it out. The only work my guy had to do was thrust in. He climaxed and I felt accomplished. From EXIT ONLY to cum dripping out of my ass...talk about leaps and bounds.

I tried this a handful more times. I didn't feel much pleasure from it personally. Medically, the anus and the lower part of the anal canal are liberally supplied with sensory nerves. I've noticed you can lessen the discomfort of anal by stimulating the other erogenous zones simultaneously. Still, I personally don't get much from anal. It isn't a big deal. I don't crave it. But since I don't have any negative experiences, I'm more than happy to please my partner by doing it, if that is their desire. I do however experience pleasure from a toy in my ass while I'm getting fucked...DP if you will.

If you're going to do it, don't be an idiot about it. Use lube, condoms help. Never go from anus to pussy or mouth without changing the condom. Same goes for toys. If she says stop, stop. We've all heard the horror stories about anal but if you do it right, you should have no problems.

My views of anal before I tried it were naive and ignorant. Be open, relax and take it slow. It may be a perfect addition to your sex life.