There is nothing sexier than honesty. Lies keep distance you may not realize, especially in the bedroom.
Some people may overcompensate for their secrets by obsessing over sex whether it shows in frequent masturbation or the constant need to change things up etc. Others may have sex just to get their partner off the scent. The lackluster starfish position should be a dead giveaway, I don't care how many moans come out of it.
I not only know this first hand through my own relationship but from hearing and witnessing these flaws in others' relationships. It has always been a difficult situation to be in to know hidden secrets and not be able to tell the other partner of what is going on behind their back. I constantly find myself privy to information that would damage a relationship but in the end, I'm just a girl and people (in my experience) are more likely to believe their partner. It baffles me, seeing as though I have absolutely nothing to gain from being honest. I don't have an angle except to spare someone the pain that I went through. No one deserves to be cheated on or have anything they wouldn't be comfortable with going on behind their back.
I find myself being silent and inadvertently sending the partner off to continue their disloyalty with someone who could care less about whether the individual is in a relationship or not. Just recently, a man proposed to the woman he has cheated on for months with another woman he lied to. She said yes. I suspect she still has no idea and it kills me to know she deserves better and that given the opportunity, he will do it again because he didn't face any consequences for his actions.
You can question your partner all you want, and most likely the truth will not come out until an extreme breaking point. If you randomly bring it up or state that something is worrying you, your partner may stop what their doing for a bit, but once you're comfortable again, the disloyalty will start back up. This leads into my next post which will be on communication; an integral part of honesty.
If you're worried and need a sound board to bounce off ideas on, feel free to message me or email me. I'm always here to give advice or just listen.