Wednesday, May 15, 2013

My Experience With: My Type

Quite frequently, I get asked about my "type" of guy. I'm assuming guys are asking this since it is always inquiries about men. I'm sure I'll get into my type when it comes to women another time. 

 I also get asked about my experience with other races. I always put "race" in quotations. I don't exactly have my ethnicity or race written across my forehead and no one else does. I don't ask people their origin either. It doesn't matter to me. I am a visual person. When I look at someone, I'm turned on or I'm not. Attraction begins physically. If I'm not physically attracted but I am attracted emotionally and mentally, that isn't my ideal mate. I don't want to feel guilty being with someone that I have to fake the physical part with. My "type" has to be someone pleasing to my eyes, heart and mind. I get turned on by lighter skin, light eyes and usually blonde hair. It isn't something I think about. It's my bodies reaction to a person being close to me. I can find people attractive regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation... I'm basically an equal-opportunist when it comes to seeing individuals as good looking. This does not mean I am sexually attracted in the same way. 

 I've had people say I'm ignorant. I can see how someone would think that just by hearing that I am not attracted to a ____ man. It often comes after I'm asked about black men. This is just what I've noticed. I've been part of this melting pot of a world long enough to know that in general, darker skin doesn't do anything for me. This includes guys that tan and men with naturally darker complexions. It's not my thing. Again, I don't think about any of this. I go off my body. 

When I saw my beau, my body reacted. 6'5, blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin. It's my type. I've been with tall, dark and handsome. I've been with fat, short and jewish. I've been with 5'7, brown-eyed cheater. There are SO many different variables to human beings. Race, ethnicity, values, upbringing, job, income level, education level, the type of car they drive... A type covers far more than physical appearance. You can not judge someone for their type. I'm not offended by men who are attracted to thin, short girls with flat chests and a doctorate. Just because it isn't what I am, doesn't mean its wrong. We all have preferences. These preferences do not harm anyone. Ry loves tall, big boobs and brown eyes with a high sex drive. I fit that. Some guys love asian girls. Some guys will only date other jewish girls. Some guys will only date women willing to be stay-at-home moms. Some guys will only date size 0. Some guys will only date strippers. These can all be applied to women and their "type"/requirements, too. It doesn't matter. It doesn't affect you. Our types are all around us. If every one of us were attracted to everyone else, we'd be the Unites States of Orgies.

Friday, May 3, 2013

Q&A: Previous Encounters

When you having sex with someone did you by any chance remember one of your previous encounters?

This only happens to me when I'm reminded of something bad. If I hear a certain sound or if I'm called something that only one person has ever called me, of course I'm going to think back. I'm always looking for new experiences so when I'm reminded of a previous person, it is a real buzzkill. I want each time to be special to that person and so far, I've been extremely lucky to have memories stay in the past and form new and better experiences in the now.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Q&A: Sex in Public

Have you ever had sex in public?

Have I had sex outside of the house? Yes.
Have I had sex around people while they watched? No.
Have I had sex around people that weren't aware of my activities? Yes.
Have I had sex out in the open where people may or may not have seen? Yes.

The term public in this question can mean several things to different people, hence the multiple responses. 

Bathrooms are the perfect spot to get your kicks in public behind a locked closed doors. I use them a lot. Some may even enjoy leaving the door unlocked for the added bonus of getting caught in another way. I personally don't need people to watch me have sex. I'm sure I'd entertain the idea of porn or even stripping privately, at least girl/girl stuff if I enjoyed being watched. I don't go so far as to make sure all the windows are closed and covered at home, but I don't intentionally put my tits against the window when getting it from behind.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

My Experience with: Masturbation

I was recently asked for advice from a girl expressing difficulty cumming from sex and masturbation. I'm a girl who is having trouble orgasming during sex or masturbating. Any advice?

Let's start with my experience. Since I can remember, I've been aware and a bit fascinated by my girlie parts. I knew they were a part of my body but I saw the whole set-up as being foreign. I started touching myself for pleasure when I was twelve or thirteen. I would take a shower and spread my lips and touch my clit or reach inside with a finger and expect to cum! That is what it seemed like happened on TV and in porn. I thought there'd be instant pleasure. Why wasn't I cumming?? There must be something wrong with me.

Alas, I'm not a quitter. I started changing one thing at a time, starting with my position. I stopped trying in the shower and started laying in bed. My position alone made a huge difference. Little things will affect your experience. Don't give up your hope of an orgasm when a small change could be the key.

My masturbating technique now is the best advice I can provide. You have the best chance of pleasure if you utilize your g-spot and clit at the same time. I highly recommend getting a simple g-spot vibrator that you can slide in, turn on and focus on your clit. The vibrating stimulation on your g-spot will increase sensation in your clit. This is the shape you want to go for and this is what I currently use, even with my man. You want your g-spot toy to do the work for you so you can give your attention to touching your clit.

With the clit, I like to use my left hand to spread my lips. It brings the clit to the forefront which helps if you aren't turned on or turned on all the way. As I said, the g-spot toy should help bring more sensation to your clit. I use saliva or water based lube to keep my clit wet at all times. If you touch too much or apply too much pressure for too long, you'll be sore later on which I doubt will make you want to jump back into the sack with yourself any time soon! I use 2-3 fingers and slide from the front to the back, back and forth. I'd give this a few minutes to start feeling pleasurable. Tingling and warmth are what you're looking to feel. Just start with that. Eventually, keep going, maybe add more pressure. For me, I have to touch myself, stop and press down on my clit to climax. You may be able to cum without stopping the motion.

For fun, I'll masturbate before sex and as soon as a climax, I will have him get on top of me and I'll start  touching myself again with him inside me. If you want to try to cum from your g-spot alone during sex, this is the next step for you. You want to start cumming with your man inside while you touch your clit.  Get used to those pleasurable feelings and have them associated with cock. I also recommend getting a rabbit toy for the dual stimulation. Get one with the controls separate from the base of the toy, like this. When you're exploring your body, the last thing you want to do is sit up awkwardly trying to figure out which button to press that is sticking out of your vagina. I like to have my control on my side. A tilt of the head and simple adjustment means remaining comfortable and in the moment. Interruptions can lead to having to start the process from the beginning and if you have a good thing going, why would you want to stop and restart?

Masturbation is the key to understanding your key triggers and points of pleasure. I fully understand the frustration when masturbation doesn't seem to "work". Let me just say, even if you don't feel anything when masturbating, you are accomplishing something. Whatever you're doing, isn't right for you so try something new. Whether you read a book that said "do it this way" or got advice from a friend or even read something from me, there is no single way to pleasure yourself as a female. We are all different. If what you're doing isn't working, change it. All I can provide is what works for me and the advice to not give up or get frustrated.